Fore! (A Slice of Life)
Seventeen holes down, one
more hole to go. Only four times I’d embarrassed myself so far. An easy Par 1
hole. Second-to-last place was going to be mine.
I approached the hole. It
was your average finisher on a mini-golf course. One ramp leading into a tiny
hole inside a dragon’s mouth. With the right combination of power and precision,
excellent golfers can squeeze between his gapped-teeth and win themselves
another round of torture on the house. With the wrong combination, the ball lands
in the vault that signifies the end of your $10 mini-golfing spree.
Hit the ball already.
Don’t break a window.
Josh and St. John voice
their confidence with jeers. I don’t let it go to my head. I take a deep breath
and square my shoulders. I lift my left foot, then my right foot, then my left
foot. I am centered. I am in control. I am the pre-accident Tiger Woods of
mini-golf.
You’ll never take second-to-last place from me.
Ashley throws her taunt
in with Josh’s and St. John’s. To spite them, I lick my finger and check the wind speed. Irrelevant. We’re playing mini-golf. I pull my club back and swing
at the ball.
I did it. The impossible.
The ball goes over the
metal grate designed to keep the ball on the ramp and flies out of bounds. They
laugh at me. I recover my ball, put it back on the tee, and ready another
swing. I make contact. The ball goes over the ramp again and lands in a tree. I
shake the tree and grab it again.
Swing. Over.
Swing. Over.
Swing, in, but left of
the dragon’s mouth and into the vault.
I fall to my knees in
defeat. I’m the first +3 bogey on a finishing hole. As the rain begins to fall,
the other three tally the scores. I look up at the sky and question God. Why would an all-loving and all-powerful creator allow such suffering?
NO! That’s impossible!
I look over. Ashley is
distraught. I scurry over to the sheet. I did it. Even with my spectacular
failure, second-to-last place was mine.
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