Fore! (A Slice of Life)

 


Seventeen holes down, one more hole to go. Only four times I’d embarrassed myself so far. An easy Par 1 hole. Second-to-last place was going to be mine.

 

I approached the hole. It was your average finisher on a mini-golf course. One ramp leading into a tiny hole inside a dragon’s mouth. With the right combination of power and precision, excellent golfers can squeeze between his gapped-teeth and win themselves another round of torture on the house. With the wrong combination, the ball lands in the vault that signifies the end of your $10 mini-golfing spree.  

 

Hit the ball already.

Don’t break a window.

 

Josh and St. John voice their confidence with jeers. I don’t let it go to my head. I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. I lift my left foot, then my right foot, then my left foot. I am centered. I am in control. I am the pre-accident Tiger Woods of mini-golf.

 

You’ll never take second-to-last place from me.

 

Ashley throws her taunt in with Josh’s and St. John’s. To spite them, I lick my finger and check the wind speed. Irrelevant. We’re playing mini-golf. I pull my club back and swing at the ball.

 

I did it. The impossible.

 

The ball goes over the metal grate designed to keep the ball on the ramp and flies out of bounds. They laugh at me. I recover my ball, put it back on the tee, and ready another swing. I make contact. The ball goes over the ramp again and lands in a tree. I shake the tree and grab it again.

 

Swing. Over.

Swing. Over.

Swing, in, but left of the dragon’s mouth and into the vault.

 

I fall to my knees in defeat. I’m the first +3 bogey on a finishing hole. As the rain begins to fall, the other three tally the scores. I look up at the sky and question God. Why would an all-loving and all-powerful creator allow such suffering?

 

NO! That’s impossible!

 

I look over. Ashley is distraught. I scurry over to the sheet. I did it. Even with my spectacular failure, second-to-last place was mine.

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